EXPERIENCESNOW.

tossed a coin.
and fate decided tt i shld skip workshop today.

it’s also fate tt i’ve to do the work on my own for workshop.
or else i’ll make things difficult for my partner/grp member when i keep missing from sch.

alright bullshit.

it’s jus weird luck tt it was heads when the coin was tossed.
so weiling skipped sch with a few others.
went home and rot, took a 2hrs nap which i hadn’t had for a nong nong time.

my pencil case went missing for no apparent reason.
dun rmb leaving in sch or whatsoever.
it’s like the N-th item tt i lost since yr 1. =/

spent another $26 for new pens, pencils, rulers, blah blah.

it’s so hard to remain as frens.
anw. thanks thanks thanks.

u noe.

some pple jus wanna noe wat happened.
but they’re not genuinely concerned.

it’s a feeling i get when i see the look on their faces.

so please.

let me off. enough is enough.
i really dun wan to talk abt it.
if i wan to tell u everything. i will.

been walking around shopping malls alone.
every i go, there’s pple.
it’s like everybody is acc me shopping.
staying home is such a chore now.
being alone makes me feel like crying.
tinking of stuff tt happened.
weiling hates this feeling.

school is good.
i hav classmates to laugh with.
talk abt other things tt divert my attention.
i can laugh loudly, happily.

lastly thanks to everybody.
who showed their concern and whatever.

i noe i nd to b strong.

finding a reason to love life again.

hw i wished this time round.
the heartache is caused by jf.

at least i had gotten used to it.
at least i noe it would heal someday.
at least i had anticipated the heartache to come.

but no.
this came unexpectedly.
and it’s a scar tt will stay for life.

i’ve never been someone to say life sucks.
yes i get angry wif life, wondering y do things happen.
but i’ve never thought it sucked.
not even when grandpa is gone.
not even when i failed tp for 3 times.
not even when we were caught by tp.

not this time round.

i’ve a fucked up life.
of cos not jus me alone.

there’s nothing i can do for them.
helpless yet useless at the same time.

terrible feeling i cant get out.
and i cannot imagine hw terrible they feel when im alr feeling this way.
it must b more agonising for them isnt it.

seriously. FUCK GOD.
i dun believe things happen for a reason now?
u’re jus a pathetic fool who is INVINSIBLE, with POWERS to take away pple we love, and pretend to LOVE us wif all ur heart.

im not pin-pointing to any religions here.
u noe. jus whoever is up there. FUCK YOU.
the god i believed in. the god tt i prayed to.

i’ve cried so much tt im so angry wif myself.
i really dont understand y.
it’s like a repeat of history.
it happened before. and it’s happening again.
not exactly the same, not exactly different.

FUCK THE LIFE MY FAMILY HAS.

18dec1995,14may2009,22july2009.

as extracted from a walk to remember, the novel.

“You knew, from the first day in Miss Garber’s class that i was going to do the play, didn’t you? When you looked at me and smiled?”

She nodded, “Yes.”

“And when i asked you to the homecoming dance, you made me promise that i wouldn’t fall in love, but you knew that i was going to, didn’t you?”

She had a mischievous gleam in her eye. “Yes.”

“How did you know?”

She shrugged without answering, and we sat together for a few moments, watching the rain as it blew against the windows.

“When I told you that I prayed for you,” she finally said to me, “what did you think I was talking about?”

My favourite part of the novel.

It’s seriously a must-read~ =)